Welcome to the c word

I rarely show the world what is going on inside it is just not my style. I hide pain and constantly worry about worrying other people and how they will feel about how I am feeling. I keep my problems to myself and sometimes even from my closest friends. Well not this time.

I have been on the c word roller-coaster (I'm calling it the c word to go easy on the faint hearted) for over three weeks now and have decided it is a good idea to write down what's happened, happening and going to happen then whoever wants to keep up to date can without being forced to hear about it through emails from me. Because you will all have days where you just can't or don't want to hear about this. I get that it’s ok.

I hope not but you also might meet people or know people who go through something similar and it might just help them in some way to know they are not alone and when they fall apart it is ok because who wouldn’t. When you read this please forgive grammar and spelling etc I have not slept for three days and sorry too if it is up and down that is pretty much how I am doing most days.

- Tuesday 23rd February 2010

Tuesday 30 March 2010

The truth comes out eventually

I think it's time to share with you an event that will shock you that occurred at the weekend. A few of you know already but for the others you may want to brace yourselves because this story involves a theft of chocolate cake. I know, (deep breath) I will continue. My brother Paul and his lovely wife Carrie called to ask me what cake I would really like for them to bring round. I replied I love those crispy crunchy chocolate you know cornflake cakes like when I was younger. So he delivered as big bros do. Later that day I innocently fell asleep on the sofa only to be woken to nom nom nom next to me while Phil yes Phil Lazarou.me devoured the cake in it's entirety. NOT A CRUMB LEFT. Believe me I know, it took me a while to accept it too that anyone could do such a thing. In his defence he did ask me if I wanted any...while I slept.

He did however cook me and the lovely Rosie Bacon (coolest name ever) a super nice roast dinner last night after he had finished work and gone straight out shopping then drove to the other side of town to get me something to relieve my mouth ulcer farm even though I protested the detour so I think maybe I can let this one go.

Lazy day today I hurt again, woke up on my front and let's just say that really sucks, also probably did too much wandering about yesterday so I've cleaned the kitchen after the Lazarou Roast Emporium had painted the walls with lamb and back on the sofa to rest, sorry Daniel no shower yet. I know I know.

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