Welcome to the c word
I rarely show the world what is going on inside it is just not my style. I hide pain and constantly worry about worrying other people and how they will feel about how I am feeling. I keep my problems to myself and sometimes even from my closest friends. Well not this time.
I have been on the c word roller-coaster (I'm calling it the c word to go easy on the faint hearted) for over three weeks now and have decided it is a good idea to write down what's happened, happening and going to happen then whoever wants to keep up to date can without being forced to hear about it through emails from me. Because you will all have days where you just can't or don't want to hear about this. I get that it’s ok.
I hope not but you also might meet people or know people who go through something similar and it might just help them in some way to know they are not alone and when they fall apart it is ok because who wouldn’t. When you read this please forgive grammar and spelling etc I have not slept for three days and sorry too if it is up and down that is pretty much how I am doing most days.
- Tuesday 23rd February 2010
Saturday, 20 March 2010
I don't want to really talk or think about the operation tonight, is that ok? cheers.
I have decided I am going to attempt to have flowers in my recovery house constantly. I really love how they make a room feel and there is something so fresh and alive about them, which is ironic because you have practically fatally wounded them and stuck them in life support water where they will inevitably demise but I will get some more and throw out the old ones before I have to consider that detail. I am going to get another jasmine if I get time, I had a beautiful flowering Jasmine for years that I brought in during winter, that Phil killed accidentally while I was away in the US, and I miss that plant so much.
Ooh the departed is on so that is me done. xx Gotta love Scorsese.