Welcome to the c word

I rarely show the world what is going on inside it is just not my style. I hide pain and constantly worry about worrying other people and how they will feel about how I am feeling. I keep my problems to myself and sometimes even from my closest friends. Well not this time.

I have been on the c word roller-coaster (I'm calling it the c word to go easy on the faint hearted) for over three weeks now and have decided it is a good idea to write down what's happened, happening and going to happen then whoever wants to keep up to date can without being forced to hear about it through emails from me. Because you will all have days where you just can't or don't want to hear about this. I get that it’s ok.

I hope not but you also might meet people or know people who go through something similar and it might just help them in some way to know they are not alone and when they fall apart it is ok because who wouldn’t. When you read this please forgive grammar and spelling etc I have not slept for three days and sorry too if it is up and down that is pretty much how I am doing most days.

- Tuesday 23rd February 2010

Monday, 26 April 2010

Oh but

Forgot to say Tamoxiemoxie, which is what I called it for ages when I couldn't remember the name, does double your chance of endometrial cancer which was 1 in a 1000 anyway and now is 2. hmm well I was 1 in 1500 chance of having breast cancer at my age so can't be that bloody unlucky twice right.

Altogether though the main thing is Surgery and Radiotherapy are localised treatments for cancer so they concentrate on one area alone. Now if like in my glands a small piece of tumour broke away into the bloodstream and I did nothing general to treat it who knows where it would end up. Chemo and hormone inhibitors are the only way to ensure or should I say at least increase the chances of removing and preventing any escaped cells or fragments of cancer around the whole body, you just gotta do it.


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