Welcome to the c word

I rarely show the world what is going on inside it is just not my style. I hide pain and constantly worry about worrying other people and how they will feel about how I am feeling. I keep my problems to myself and sometimes even from my closest friends. Well not this time.

I have been on the c word roller-coaster (I'm calling it the c word to go easy on the faint hearted) for over three weeks now and have decided it is a good idea to write down what's happened, happening and going to happen then whoever wants to keep up to date can without being forced to hear about it through emails from me. Because you will all have days where you just can't or don't want to hear about this. I get that it’s ok.

I hope not but you also might meet people or know people who go through something similar and it might just help them in some way to know they are not alone and when they fall apart it is ok because who wouldn’t. When you read this please forgive grammar and spelling etc I have not slept for three days and sorry too if it is up and down that is pretty much how I am doing most days.

- Tuesday 23rd February 2010

Tuesday, 6 April 2010


Today I am glad to be alive.
I can't help but think about the other people I was in the day surgery with and how one at least had a full mastectomy and the others might have had terrifying news in their post operation appointment far outweighing anything that I had to face. If more surgery is the way forward then at least I can breathe easy that the cancer will be gone come what may side affects and issues cancer free is cancer free.

The sun is shining out there and I am healthy enough to enjoy it, I have an amazing family and friends who love me unconditionally, a partner who would selflessly swap places with me in a heartbeat, a cat who knows nothing about it and would not care anyway but he is cute, money to buy food and time to be creative. What more could anyone want or need, right?

So Today is about enjoying life. simple.

p.s. Someone said they had a problem reading updates to my blog so just to remind you if you put your email address in the box down left hand side you will be emailed directly with all updates. xx

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