Something else I have noticed is if I begin to show any signs of feeling at all sorry for myself regarding radiotherapy I find the occasional reaction to be 'well it could have been worse at least you didn't have chemo'. People have an inherent need to gloss it all over and take the weight out of suffering by seeing the sunny side instantly but this sometimes brushes aside what someone is feeling. I do it too and now I am so determined not to, it is like positivity tourettes.Yep I know I am lucky in a way but allow me a little time to grieve or express the shittiness of removing all normality from your life while you are travelling to hospital everyday in the heat (when you are not allowed in the sun or your skin will fall off) to lay tense and still while they beam radiation into your chest right next to your lungs making your skin sore and stealing all your energy. It could be a lot worse sure but it could be a lot better. Oh and I read macmillan yesterday in search for a moisturiser -
Erm perhaps mention this one before hand, I mean it would be nice to know! Ok sure not much chance but I would at least like to be aware of it.
I went to see my friend run the race for life on Sunday. I didn't see it coming but I was only there 20 minutes before I was in tears, cunningly disguised under my straw hat and sunglasses. It was so overwhelming even Phil said he welled up in 5 minutes, you find yourself reading all the peoples messages to lost loved ones on their backs and right now it was too much. But I am still glad I went anyway.
Oh crap I gotta go I will be late otherwise. Hope everyone is well and happy.
Oh on a good note I am officially an Auntie as of yesterday to Matthew Bolland a healthy baby boy, I hope mum is resting and recovering well xxxx