Welcome to the c word

I rarely show the world what is going on inside it is just not my style. I hide pain and constantly worry about worrying other people and how they will feel about how I am feeling. I keep my problems to myself and sometimes even from my closest friends. Well not this time.

I have been on the c word roller-coaster (I'm calling it the c word to go easy on the faint hearted) for over three weeks now and have decided it is a good idea to write down what's happened, happening and going to happen then whoever wants to keep up to date can without being forced to hear about it through emails from me. Because you will all have days where you just can't or don't want to hear about this. I get that it’s ok.

I hope not but you also might meet people or know people who go through something similar and it might just help them in some way to know they are not alone and when they fall apart it is ok because who wouldn’t. When you read this please forgive grammar and spelling etc I have not slept for three days and sorry too if it is up and down that is pretty much how I am doing most days.

- Tuesday 23rd February 2010

Tuesday, 23 March 2010

Relief, biscuits and recovery

I am in a nice clean and comfortable hotel in London doing a terrible job at typing coherently so bear with me. My surgery was successful, the surgeons were amazingly gentle before (and I think during), nurses were perfect and anaesthetist was funny. I do not remember going under the anaesthetic whatsoever and woke up very woozy  but munched through 6 biscuits in no time and sipped my way through a cuppa from the Phil Lazarou Tea Emporium while the proprietor had me giggling at his magic show/tea making abilities. I am overall seriously relieved and that relief overrides any pain or discomfort. No sign of cancer cells in the glands how cool is that? I feel so chuffed to have another step towards total recovery over with and with virtually no tears or low moments except almost one when this morning my ipod broke, of all days for that to happen why today, grrrrr.
Will write more tomorrow but must rest now Doctor Lazarous orders and I am in enough trouble already from trying to do too much on my own, I think I am going to be an over ambitious patient, sorry Phil.

xxx
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