My stomach is in my knots and situated somewhere in my throat. But I am sure it will be fine. I will try to let you know later what the verdict is, if not tomorrow. No doubt if it is good news you will hear from me sooner.
The only request I am making is to handle me carefully after I find out either way, I normally let you all know where I am at emotionally pretty swiftly but let me just say that although no doubt we all will feel this relief immense relief that is has not spread and no chemo necessary if that is what they tell me, however I don't know if I can handle too much celebrating because inside I will be carrying with me the verdict and treatment plan they have given (making it very real) and we all know none of the treatments are fun and without shitty side effects and radiotherapy still essentially means side effects, hospital daily visits, more risk for this incurable infection and I will have to give up uni for now and that is going to hit me hard. The Macmillan nurse warned us that commonly women find the surgery the easiest bit and the treatment far more challenging, I hope to disprove this theory but I can't promise.
I am pretty much asking, and I have not until now, for everyone to be aware that I might not take either news well so be ready. I might not but I might, so handle with care ; ).
Anyway giving you all the heads up. xxx
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